A baby is God's way of saying the world should go on...

There are many instances in my life in which having a remote control to fast forward, rewind or mute- would come in handy. Actually, I could use the mute button many times a day...ok, maybe a million times a day- on myself.  Sometimes I wish for a pause button...days when the weather is perfect, during a pedi, while getting a good night's sleep, days when all 3 kids are happy, and times when playing outside does not seem to last long enough. There are other days in which a volume button at my house would be a blessing- once again, the volume button would be great at all times at the Guire Casa.


Have you ever wished you could turn back time...by a day, a year, maybe just a second? Wished you had not hurt someone's feelings with the wrong words or the wrong actions. Wished you had not made a particular decision or maybe wished you had. Wished you had thought more on a choice or not considered the choice as an option at all. Wished that faith and destiny were more controllable and less frightening.

I do not have very many regrets, and actually none that I can actually control. I regret that my grandmothers and grandfather had not lived longer and wish they could have met my kids. Wish my living grandfather was not 1000's miles of  way. Oh, how much my kids would have benefitted from knowing these amazing people. I regret that my cousin has seen so much sorrow in her life yet she still has a heart of gold.  I regret that my friend's mother died of cancer and suffered the last months of her life; she was a big influence in my young life and such a loving person. I regret that a new friend struggles daily with the death of her child. In so many instances, turning back time would be, well just awesome. But is it living if we are living with regrets...wishing for one more day, wishing it had been different. No!

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass... it is about learning to dance in the rain."

However, all the events in my life to this point have shaped me into who I am and who I will still become. It's the friends I have made, the relationships that have ended and the sun continuing to rise each morning that makes life---well life!  We are shaped by our actions and the changes due to the events we experience daily. These events mold us into who we are day to day. I live with no regrets as I am who I am and live my life accordingly. As a true friend once said about me..."you either LOVE Jessica or you HATE Jessica- there is no half way". I like to think that you either appreciate me for who I am or you cannot handle me and should move on.

 “A good memory is one that can remember the day's blessings and forget the day's troubles”

A very special little 2 year old in my life has taught me about being thankful and living without regrets. Although he cannot say the word, nor can he explain it...he defines LIFE every day. I am thankful for his sensory processing disorder. Strange to be thankful for such?! Not for me. This single diagnosis has shaped me into being a better mother, a better person. Teagan's diagnosis was a blessing...but one I was not willing to embrace at the time. To hear that your child is not considered "normal" is heartbreaking...to know he is struggling and you do not understand the struggle is breath taking. We are redefining "normal" over here at the Guire Casa. He has taught me compassion, acceptance, and patience. I often asked why...why did I get chosen to have a child with a special need. Then I realized it was not a choice...it was a blessing. No one else could love Teagan as much as I do. No one else could fight as hard as I do for Teagan. No one else gets the honor to say they are Teagan's mommy...and for that I am humbled and grateful- Grateful that God picked me to be Teagan's mommy!

We are all a work in progress, in God's eyes. And every day I work on myself. It is Teagan who is my teacher- and very good at his job. Who knew that a 2 year old could teach me so many life lessons? I learned more from him in 2 years then in my 9 years of college- I think I need to get my money back on that one.  Teagan is a gift from God and one that God gave me to shape me and mold me every day. Teagan and I were put together for a very special reason and for that I am thankful. I am not sure what I would do if my kids were all "normal"...how boring...how easy life could be. And for that I am thankful! Every day it is the small joys in his life that make my life so meaningful. Of course, my other two kids equally make my life meaningful. I have 3 kids and I love them...love them differently, as only mommies can understand. I love them with the love that they need individually. After having Taylor- 10 years ago, I could not imagine how I could love another as much as I love her...but I do and although I cannot understand the deep love I have for them...for that I am thankful. We do not have to understand to love, we just have to trust. And I trust that God knew and knows EXACTLY what he is doing in my life. My love is multiplied between my 3 kids, not divided. Teagan's diagnosis has brought Danny and I closer too. He is an amazing dad and an amazing model for Teagan (and Tristan and Taylor). Having a best friend in your life who shares the joys of parenthood is so fulfilling. And getting to share the achievements of Teagan with someone who equally loves him is wonderful. When no one else understands our excitement or sorrow...we can relate to the emotions of the other- as they are equally felt. Who would have thought that on a faithful night in October at the indoor soccer complex, Danny would joking try to kick me in the head...

"All because two people fell in love"

There are many moms out there that may pity other people for having a child with any sort of special needs but honestly, at times, I pity people that don’t get to experience this! You never know the true joy of a childhood milestone until your child does not meet it. You never know the joy of hearing your child call you "mommy" until he doesn't. You never know the joy of motherhood until it is a challenge. I get this blessing every day. I wake each day with a new challenge in Teagan's life and with renewed hope that today will be the day that he has a new accomplishment.

“Prayers go up and blessings come down”