As this mother always says: "If you don't have anything nice to say...come sit next to me."

I am the queen of controversy...SHOCKER, right!  It is not that I set out to be controversial. I know some of you are balking at that statement. But it's the truth, I tell ya. I do not sit  in bed at night wondering, what can I say or do that will make everyone shake their heads. Those who really know me, know that I honestly do not have time for extra thoughts  like that. My words are best described as unfiltered....which is how I like it.

A recent controversy started with an innocent Facebook  status update about my kids not sleeping through the night. I mean, for the love of Pete, I was just bitchin that I needed a good night's sleep without my rug rats sticking their face in my face at 2 in the morning. Before I could even realize what was going on, kids were being locked in their rooms, kid cages were being offered up, mouths were closed with duct tape and houses were catching on fire. Looking back it might have been the Rapture or the Apocalypse.  And if that was not dramatic enough, I was defriending folks, getting defriended, and getting called a Liberal!! A liberal...well, obviously, that particular person should never have been on my wall in the first place. Delete Delete Delete.

A liberal, really?!? I use to vote democratic. My family is originally from THE Ohio State, where you vote the party not the person. One of my grandfathers has been a straight shooting democrat for decades...well that was of course before Obama came into the picture. My 89 year old grandpa said he would rather see Hilary Clinton in office than Obama. Wow, now that just forwarded the women's rights movement by 3 steps. Years ago, I voted for the inventor of the internet and am thankful for global warming when it is 89 degrees on Thanksgiving Day. Now, Gore did not get my vote solely on the fact that he was democratic. My freshman year in college, I saw republicans as the snobby, suit wearing jerks who sat next to me in PreLaw class. Years later I realized that that snobby suit wearing jerk would have been a jerk no matter his party affiliation- so I couldn't blame the republicans  on this one. And I am sure his broken nose healed nicely just in time for his law school debut.

Maybe that is the problem...Facebook . Yes, Obama definitely got elected because of Facebook .  How's that liberal for ya? Facebook  has become the root of all problems long before Obama though. Now this is quite ironic considering my news feed is filled with status updates of jelly beans exiting out of bung holes, puppies and rainbows having relations during husband week, or sister week, all while people are morphing into cartoon characters from their oh so pleasant childhood. When I first logged into Facebook , it was because MySpace had become so juvenile. I was so sick of Hello Kitty backgrounds and duck lip pictures. Now if you have been following my blog you will remember that I mentioned my life is filled with ironic twist...case in point. The first two people that tried to friend me on Facebook had Hello Kitty as a profile picture and the other....well you get the point. One glance through the Facebook  profile pictures and I was wondering why everyone was posting pictures from 1990. Then I realized they weren't pictures from 1990, they were current pictures of people trying to act as though they were still in 1990 (I thought that is what class reunions are for).  Coupled with this were status updates about how brilliant and amazing their life was. One look at their profiles and I realized the only thing brilliant and amazing was the credit card company that got their business. Sheesh- I was in the wrong business! Facebook  was a place to become what you were not....but no one could call you on it...because you had moved to Oregon years before to birth your first child out of sight from the media frenzy.  Unfair- boo hiss! One very EXTREME example was a friend  I had years ago...married with kids, the perfect house, the country club membership, the loaded suburban, trips to faraway lands....but credit card debt that was the equivalent of the national debt. I am talking trips to Cabo- on the Discover...nights out at the casino- on the Visa...gift giving for no reason at all- on the Mastercard. She single handedly could have gotten the economy back on track! At one time her house payment was being made with cash, which was being withdrawn from a credit card. Lord have Mercy- do you people understand the extent of paying a loan, with interest, with a credit card that applies interest. I am no math whiz here- remember I am not a numbers kind of gal...but that is compounded interest out the Ying-YANG. However, her Facebook status was nothing short of the Life of the Rich and Famous, while she was actually a broke ass desperate house wife!

I decided early on that my mission on Facebook  was to be as open and honest as possible. That is how I run my life, so why should my Facebook  life be any different. I was obviously up for a challenge since I was updating  about getting pooped on, gaining weight, and hating my hair...while my counterparts were talking about how amazing their 13 year old was and how all they need to have a good day is dinner at home with their in laws. This is also about the time I figured out the hide button. I was not quite to the point of deleting them just in case they woke up with Alopecia...I did not want to miss that update!  Before too long I realized that just because we shared air in middle school does not mean we were meant to be friends later in life....on Facebook  none the less. I only have 3 friends who I met through Facebook . All came with good references and I know where their references live so I have all bases covered. Everyone else, I have personally known somehow in my "real" life, the one that exist outside of Facebook  land.

Throughout my years on Facebook , I have defriended and been defriended. Only a few who I have defriended probably even noticed and those who defriended me...I probably noticed or not. On national defriend day in November, I realized that having 400 Facebook  friends was ridiculous. So, I cut those who were inactive, those who think Facebook  was invented for them, and those who...well, those who are not entertaining  or inspiring. I figured though that if you are on Facebook long enough, eventually no one will have friends...with timing and just the right comment, everyone could get defriended. I would think this would be the end of the world- and the Mayans have nothing to do with Facebook- wierd!

I see Facebook as a remote island...and each person has their own tribe on that island. You can be part of multiple tribes, and the head of your own tribe. You can decide to leave tribes and other times you are required to leave a tribe. Your tribe life can be as wonderful as you want it to be...or as honest as it comes. Your tribe members will decide how much bullshit they will tolerate. And when it comes to my tribe, the door is unlocked and you are free to leave if you can't handle the heat. But just remember my status update might be something you were thinking but not willing to say aloud.