Are you there God, it’s me Teagan’s mom

Some days the morning prayer is simple, “Please watch over my family and friends. Give us what we need and always give glory to You for our blessings. Thank you for all you have given us. Amen.” Other days the prayer is more ambiguous, “Please guide me to make the best choice for our family. Amen.”. And, well some days the prayer is more a plea for help, “I’m lost, I do not know what to do. Help!”

Some days I feel forsaken, “Are you there God, it’s me Teagan’s mom?”

Living on a prayer.

There is always hope in any problem just sometimes it’s a solution we didn’t see or didn’t consider. I pray to see these opportunities and make the most of the resources I have. Some days this is a new idea, or motivation from a friend...and some days I just cannot find the solution. Many people ask me, "how do you do it all?". The simple answer is I don't, some days I am living on a prayer and that's it. 

Three times the fun. 

I have three kids and to have one school year where everything goes great for all three is seldom. There is always one of the three that needs me more than the others. When Teagan started school, my middle child was thriving in Kindergarten but my oldest was in middle school trying to find her way. When Teagan got to 2nd grade, the the oldest was sailing, my middle child was struggling.

This school year has been one that I can truly say has challenged me and all three kids to a level we never knew. My oldest had the pressures of being a teenager in a world that does not focus on accountability or strong morals or ethics. My middle child realized that no matter what some people just wont like you or support you no matter what you do. And Teagan, well he has learned that the road is long, but there are always rewards for perseverance.

Being an advocate for someone is a heavy burden to carry. For almost 8 years, I have fought his fight. I admit, this warrior mom is tired, the warrior mom is weary, this warrior mom needs a nap!

Throughout Teagan’s school years, we have been lucky to have some awesome supporters. I am thankful for them, but they have made me lazy. When you see such teaching excellence you start to believe that every experience will be as wonderful. I begin to think- “Thank you God, they got this, I can relax.”

But it is in that moment that God has other plans. He looks at me and says “Your job is not done, my child”.  And I continue forward...some days faster than others, some days with fire in my heart, and other days it is a silent contentment that I am doing the best I can. 

I want to venture off this train of thought and instead of discussing the challenges we face, turn to the lessons learned. Here is my advice to teachers in special education or teaching students with a special need and to parents as you advocate for your child.

Hello Teachers!

The IEP is your friend. Have you ever needed some insight into a student to know how they learn, well most students do not have a book that tells you all about them. But a special needs learner does! It’s called an IEP, Individualized Education Program, and it is a lengthy statement of the educational program needed to meet a child's individual learning needs. Every child who receives special education services has this gem. Use it, read it, ask question about it. It tells you what goals the student is working on and how you can accommodate them to meet those goals. It’s a guide- much like a map. Would you go on a road trip without a map or navigation system?

Use the parents as a resource. With technology, you no longer have to hope a note gets home. You can text, email, call or use a chat app to reach out to parents.

Teacher: Teagan seems off task a lot today. Is everything ok? Is there any thing I can do to help?

Me: Thanks for reaching out. Teagan hasn’t been sleeping well lately so that would impact his attention. We are working to get him in bed and to sleep through the night. If he needs to complete some of the work at home with me, please send it with him and I will help him.

Sometimes a restless child could appear to be misbehaving but with a child with special needs a disruption in sleep or life routines could impact his ability at school. Most parents are willing to help if asked. Remember many special needs learners cannot fully communicate to you their feelings and often cannot tell their parents that they are falling behind in school. Don’t you have days that you are unmotivated or tired?

Variety is the spice of life. Have you ever explained something to a friend and they didn’t understand but another person reexplains it and they get it? It’s not necessarily that your explanation wasn’t clear but there was a barrier to learning. Some times when another student, teacher, or parent reexplains a concept or process to the special needs learner - they get it! Do not let your ego impact your ability to ask for help with the students. It takes a village, right?

And Parents, this one's for you.

Do not give up, EVER! I have been guilt of this. If my suggestion falls on deaf ears after a few tries, I throw in the towel. The road is long and exhausting but your child needs you. Keep at it, continue to communicate with the school, continue to offer suggestions, continue to advocate for your child.

Focus on goals. Of course, I want my child to learn but I also want him to be confident, kind, and happy. So, maybe this year your child didn’t make any solid friendships but did he make strides in another area? Did he finally get a skill that was nonexistent at the start of the school year?  Always celebrate the milestones-progress is progress no matter if it is one step or five.

Final Thoughts...

So, as we move from school routine to summer, embrace the time with your child. Enjoy the little things, what goals will your child accomplish in the next few months, what will you focus on in the new school year in the fall? And by the way, when I asked “Are you there God, it’s me Teagan’s mom”...He answered.